I have been trying to write a blog post each weekend. My absence last week was due to disappointment; which in turn led to an impressively unmotivated weekend. Now, I am not depressed and have never struggled with depression, but there are times when everything seems a little bit sub-par, and that will grind down your generally good mood. The job you want to enjoy isn’t that enjoyable, the plans you have didn’t work out that well, entertainment isn’t satisfying, that coffee wasn’t satiating, the homework assignment was boring and you just did it without learning anything; I don’t know. I guess that some days things that I create don’t fulfill me… and thats really the deception, that most days the things that I create do fulfill me. Maybe I just feel a little bit like Solomon:
Ecclesiastes 1:2–11 (ESV)
2 Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher,
vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
3 What does man gain by all the toil
at which he toils under the sun?
4 A generation goes, and a generation comes,
but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
and hastens to the place where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
and on its circuits the wind returns.
7 All streams run to the sea,
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.
8 All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
9 What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there a thing of which it is said,
“See, this is new”?
It has been already
in the ages before us.
11 There is no remembrance of former things,
nor will there be any remembrance
of later things yet to be
among those who come after.
Reading the book of Ecclesiastes gives me fantastic perspective that its not about me and that all of the things that I will naturally turn to for satisfaction are fleeting. God is the one point of stability in a universe full of shifting sand.
On a completely unrelated not, do I sound pretentious if I tell you that I bought a Mac? 2 months ago I went cheap and bought an HP laptop at CostCo so that I could have something to do my online school on. The HP was working fantastically until this last Wednesday when it took a dump on my attempt to do my homework. An hour and a half of ctrl-alt-deleting and frustrating restarts had my impatient anger boiling. How am I supposed to work, love my wife, be a father, and do school if I have to come home and mess around with the tool that I use to learn for an hour and a half? Fortunately for me CostCo has a 90 day return policy, which I am well within. So back goes that HP and in comes a MacBook Air. I have become that guy.
One thought on “Blah”
I love your perspective, Josh. I wish I had learned what you are learning at your age. It took me a while to realize that only going deeper with Jesus ever satisfies. You have a great way of putting things. Love you, nephew.